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I went into the bedroom to take a shower. When I came out my wife was in the bedroom and she asked if I was ok. I looked at her astonished and went to say thank you and then she cut me off telling me that I shouldn’t think that she didn’t agree with her mother it was just that she could wait ’til I was doing better to let me have it. Great. I went into the kitchen leaving my wife in the bedroom. I found a beer and turning to open it I saw my mother-in-law staring at me. I asked her what she wanted and she began in a whisper I guess not to alert my wife to tell me again how pathetic she thought I was. I was really getting sick of it. My frustration and anger grew as she spoke. I could hear myself scream in my head what the fuck is your problem. Then something strange happened I wasn’t moving but I felt myself getting closer to her. And then, I could see me from her point of view — I was in her head. Suddenly images flashed of me and my wife having sex. The images were familiar but. Nicklaus Slaight was chair, or emcee, or circus ringmaster, or whatever. He was thrilled that I volunteered to tell the throng that their wee ones would be spending the remainder of the school year in the buck, as he hoped to split for safer parts when the news registered ... safer places like Chernobyl.As the parents gathered near the front, I intercepted Greg Foster, coach of the high school's football team. I gestured for his team to gather round. "It's possible that I'm going to need some assistance shortly. My news may cause some parents to want to shred me limb from limb."One of the tackles sniggered. "Why, are they moving the kids' school to 'Cuda?"I looked the prescient young man straight in the eye. "Right on one. See, Greg, your athletes are smarter than the school's science geeks give them credit for."Grins began to spread among the team. "Ah, coach," asked Adam Winslow, the quarterback, "can we discuss the high school's dress code?" Sure, discuss it to your heart's.
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